


last goodbye

by imnyoung



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, sorta happy ending??, why did i do this to my jjp babies? ;;
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 22:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9569693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnyoung/pseuds/imnyoung
Summary: Jinyoung finally learns to let go.





	

It still hurts. Of course it still would, the soft way he had spoken that night, the way he had held Jinyoung's hand so tenderly, eyes casted down, shame burning hotly in them. But Jinyoung didn't understand why, _why wouldn't Jaebum look at him?_ That night, Jinyoung learned that answers always come quickly. 

"Jinyoung, I'm so sorry." Jaebum held his hand tighter, and the Jinyoung's breath hitched, the feeling that something was wrong increased ten fold.

"Jaebum hyung, what wrong?" He said anxiously, eyes wide as he desperately searched his lover's eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Jinyoung. I really loved you,"

_Loved._

Days were a blur, food was stale, and life wasn't worth living anymore. Jinyoung cried himself to sleep for days, until nothing came out. Classes were a chore when he found it fun back then. Friends who visited him pitied him, and Jinyoung wanted to tell them he was okay, but what was the point of lying? He was _broken_. 

Jaebum, who was once the light of his life, coloring his world in different palates, who teached him so many things, teached him how to love, had fallen out of love with him. 

_It was inevitable_ , says a voice in the back Jinyoung's mind. Jinyoung doesn't doubt it. He was unloveable, a creation by God that he wasn't proud of. Everyone just comes and goes, his family, his friends, and now, Jaebum.

That was years ago, and today was the same day that Jaebum had broken things off three years ago. It still hurts, but Jinyoung is better now. Three years ago, he would have believed that voice, would have belittled himself, would have been a shell of who he used to be. 

But Mark said things happen for a reason. Mark, who left him when they were problematic teenagers, promising to come back, had finally returned. He wasn't leaving anymore, he was staying for good. Jinyoung believes him now. 

And Jackson told him he was a great person, regardless of his negativity and broken state, Jackson believed in him. Jackson, who came into his life alongside Mark, fingers linked that made Jinyoung's heart crash but warm at the same time. Jackson, who was the first to make him smile after so long, who supported him wholly despite knowing him for a week.

And Youngjae who was clumsy to comfort him, but it still fixed him on good days, who called him everyday to ask how he is, who took care of him when things got bad. 

And Kunpimook, who told him that they are still here, that they'll always be, even if he thought it was cringy, he was sincere. 

And Yugyeom, who stayed with him in his home, who listened to him without judging, without restrictions, who hugged him when Jinyoung was close to a breakdown, who became a reliable friend even if he was so young.

(And Jaebum, who still calls sometimes, who still cares and worries about him, who stays back because he knows it hurts Jinyoung, but it hurts Jaebum too.) 

They helped him up, brought back normalcy into his life, brightened it up with no hesitation. 

Today, as he drives toward the beach where Jaebum had asked him to become his boyfriend, he feels his resolve break a little, seeing the place alone made him _weak_ , made him _remember._

He parks toward the side and walks toward the beach, a box in both hands. The beach was empty, no one in sight, the sky was a dark blue and the waves crashing sounds like lightning in Jinyoung's ears. The atmosphere was depressing but Jinyoung was determined to do this. He walks toward the log in the middle of the beach, and sits on it. He looks longingly at the sea, wishing for a moment tht Jaebum was still here, remaking the moment they got together. But as it is, wishes are only wishes.

Jinyoung decides to look through their stuff one last time, just for the sake of remembering. He rummages through the piles of clothes, to find a stack of pictures. He holds it gently, looking through them fondly, each memory an arrow through his heart that still beats loudly at the sight of Jaebum. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind goes through, and the pictures fly away, scattering in the wind.

For a moment, Jinyoung panics, chasing the pictures desperately, only to stop, watching as the pictures disappear but the memories will still be remembered.

Jinyoung looks up to the sky, the same depressing color, but Jinyoung thinks it's a beautiful hue of blue. He smiles slightly, blinking away tears he didn't know were there, and thinks that maybe, maybe, he was finally ready to move on.

**Author's Note:**

> have some extra rushed angst ya'll don't know why i wrote this jjp deserves better ;; anyways thanks for reading!! :--)


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